‘When Kids Say They're Trans: A Guide for Parents’
Being the parent of a gender-questioning child is confusing. There is a lot of advice out there, but much of it goes against what many parents feel instinctively is the right approach. And the stakes are very high if you get it wrong.
There have been many books written for parents who are facilitating a child's gender transition, but almost none for parents who decide that social or medical transition is not the best option for their child.
Written by three professionals working in the field - Sasha Ayad, Lisa Marchiano and Stella O'Malley - When Kids Say They're Trans is explicitly a resource for parents who want their children to flourish, but do not believe that hasty medicalisation is the best way to ensure long-term health and well-being.
Parents who have successfully helped their children navigate gender distress without resorting to surgery and hormones have done so by actively taking the reins, not waiting until they found the right therapist or doctor. When Kids Say They're Trans will tell you all you need to know, and will give you the confidence to trust your own instincts.
©2023 Sasha Ayad, Lisa Marchiano, Stella O'Malley (P)2023 Swift Press Audio
MEDIA REVIEWS
‘Brilliant, compassionate, and wise beyond measure, therapists Marchiano, Ayad, and O'Malley provided a haven of understanding and calm support for me after my child announced a trans identity. Their insights helped me regain my parental footing and helped our family stay connected through a very challenging time. What a gift to have their insight and expertise available!' - Kate Parker, parent and library director
‘Sasha, Stella, and Lisa bring enormous warmth, insight, and intelligence to the care of troubled children and teenagers. This book is essential reading for all parents and professionals supporting young people struggling with the issue of gender identity’ - Louise Perry
'A wise and empathic resource for parents struggling with intensely difficult parenting terrain, based on the authors’ extensive expertise as therapists for gender-dysphoric youth. A godsend for lonely and anguished parents trying to do the best for their trans-identified child' Kathleen Stock, author of Material Girls
‘Parents of children who announce a transgender identity often find themselves in a world of confusion and contradiction. These brilliant, clear-eyed authors – all with extensive clinical experience – have written the emergency survival guide for families’ - Abigail Shrier, author of Irreversible Damage: Teenage Girls and the Transgender Craze
‘There is perhaps no subject today that is more complicated, fraught, and confusing than the sudden rise in gender dysphoria among young people. Parents encountering this issue for the first time will be hit with a tidal wave of conflicting opinions, theories, and “experts” that, however well-meaning, are guided by an incoherent and potentially harmful ideology. The book could not have come soon enough. Its authors are leading figures in the effort to bring sense and rationality to the conversation. Moreover, they are experienced clinicians who understand that gender dysphoric youth deserve meaningful psychotherapeutic treatment, not blind approbation on the internet. For any parent embarking on the gender journey, When Kids Say They're Trans should be the first stop along the way’ - Meghan Daum, host of The Unspeakable Podcast and author of The Problem With Everything: My Journey Through The New Culture Wars
‘These three authors empower parents ... this book can provide parents of transgender-identified children with the guidance and support that they need to get through it, with relationships intact … This is a vital resource, and I highly recommend it' - Debbie Hayton, The Critic
'Compassionate and measured ... thoughtful' - Sarah Ditum, The Times
‘When Kids Say They’re Trans contains all the information a thinking, caring parent needs … calm, reasonable argument for exploratory therapy’ - Jenny Poyer Ackerman, Year Zero
‘What Your Teen is Trying to Tell You’
My new book is now available to order NOW in a number of bookshops. See links below
Amazon.co.uk - click link here
Easons.com - click link here
Bookstation.ie - click link here
Kennys.ie - click link here
(*an independent book seller, who will ship overseas)
Bookdepository.com - click link here
Click link here to get all the details of where to buy my new book
“‘Stella O’Malley’s bible for parents raising troubled teenagers’”
Book Interviews/Book Reviews:
06/06/2023, The New Flesh Podcast: What your teen is trying to tell you
05/06/2023, Fred Pawle, AHD: ‘Stella O’Malley on Fred Pawle’
29/04/2023, Spiked-online: ‘The tyranny of parenting experts’
27/04/2023, Sunday Business Post: ‘Pychotherapist Stella O’Malley is clear sighted ally for parents at teenage ground zero’
23/03/2023, Grazia Daily: ‘An Expert’s Top Tips For Dealing With Teenagers’
19/04/2023, Irish Independent: The ‘Teen Whisper’ on what your teen is trying to tell you
17/04/2023, the Unspeakable Podcast: ‘Does Your Kid Really Need Therapy? Stella O’Malley on Teens, Mental Health, and the Problem With Professionals’
17/04/2023, RTE.ie: ‘Psychotherapist Stella O'Malley chats to Miriam about her book, 'What Your Teen Is Trying to Tell You.'
08/04/2023, Sarah Vine’s Femail Half-Hour: ‘Talking about teenagers with Stella O’Malley’
06/04/2023, The Real Health Podcast, ‘Talking to teenagers and what parents really need to know’ or watch here.
02/04/2023, Sunday Independent; ‘Definitive Guide for parents on how to help teenagers navigate life’s challenges’
02/04/2023, RTE Radio 1 with Miriam O’Callaghan; What Your Teen Is Trying To Tell You
02/04/2023, Interview with the famous artist Birdy Rose; ‘What your teen is trying to tell you'
27/03/2023, Midlands 103; ‘Parents Hold The Key For Dealing With Children's Anti-Social Behaviour’
27/03/2023, Graziadaily.co.uk; ‘How to handle your adolescent's feelings and help them negotiate the rocky road to adulthood’
24/03/2023, Belfast Telegraph: ‘Psychotherapist Stella O’Malley’s advice on handling tricky teen situations’
22/02/2023, Pat Kenny Show, Newstalk; ‘Book: What Your Teenagers Trying To Tell You’
21/03/2023, Off-Air with Jane & Fi, theTimes.co.uk: ‘We have to keep the veneer off showbiz’
20/03/2023, iNews: ‘How to deal with nightmare kids – from a former wild teenager’
19/03/2023, Sunday Times: ‘Stella O’Malley’s bible for parents raising troubled teenagers’
19/03/2023, Irish Independent: ‘Trust yourself: How to help a teenager navigate social media, friendship, anxiety and romance’
MEDIA REVIEWS
'Stella O'Malley is the voice of compassion and reason needed by anyone helping a child to navigate the rocky teenage years. This invaluable book is packed with wise advice and evidence-based hints and tips, organised by theme for ease of reference. A book you'll turn to again and again' - Helen Joyce
'Parenting teenagers has never been harder: Stella O'Malley offers parents a humane, loving template for navigating the storm. Encouraging parents to be confident with their boundaries, but also generous with their patience and affection, this book shows that you can be good enough - and its practical good sense will help you to achieve just that' - Sarah Ditum
'A warm, wise, and compassionate voice that will reassure any parent struggling with the teen in their life' - Kathleen Stock, author of Material Girls
'An essential parenting manual for complex times. Utterly brilliant - Stella's voice is reassuring and she covers absolutely everything. Every parent of teens needs this book. A much-needed book for a generation of children under pressure, and the parents who love them' - Milli Hill, Author of The Positive Birth Book
'Written with compassion and clarity, this is a reassuringly practical guide to the art of parenting teens through the tricky times' - Rachel Rooney, children's author and poet
'This is the most readable and practical guide to parenting a teenager imaginable ... It's directly relevant to contemporary teen culture, with its hazards of accessible hard porn and bullying by social media, as well as the apparent paradox of a more liberal cultural approach to sexuality combined with teens still experiencing deep shame and being fearful of growing up ... this is also a book to read if you are still in need of learning forgiveness toward and understanding of your own inner teen. Stella O'Malley writes beautifully in a frank and straightforward fashion. I would recommend it to every parent, as well as to teenagers themselves' - Victoria Whitworth, author of Swimming with Seals
'A much needed guide for parents to navigate through the perils and the unknowns of adolescence ... The author brilliantly exposes the diverse problematics that teens can encounter and she offers parents with guidance and support, in a very pragmatic way. I found particularly insightful the chapter on gender identity and gender dysphoria, that sheds a light into what might be a traumatic phase for many adolescents who struggle to accept themselves ... What Your Teen is Trying to Tell You sheds a light into one of the most difficult phases of human development, if not the most difficult. Any parent should read this book and keep it close, in case they'll need to read it twice' - Paola Diana, Author, Entrepreneur & Podcast Host
'What Your Teen is Trying to Tell You reminds parents that they themselves can have much more impact than they realize. This advice is much needed in a world where it's arguably harder than ever to be a teen, with online pressures, unprecedented levels of isolation and loneliness, and the resulting sense of parental futility. Using well-known principles of psychological understanding and age-old wisdom, O'Malley invites parents to lean into the opportunity to be a more confident and competent parent and help their children to truly thrive' - Sasha Ayad, licensed counsellor
'I liked the bits I read because you can tell Stella O'Malley really LIKES young people, which you don't see very often. I especially liked the section on perfectionism and fear of failure, and it helped me understand why I worry about letting people down. I feel we are all being pressured into growing up too quickly, and I think this book gives me support in helping to pushback against peer pressure and to say when something is making me unhappy, and to say WHY, when before I didn't really understand why' - Teen (15)